


There's No Love

by RougueShadowWolf



Series: 15 Minutes [34]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Always Female Stiles Stilinski, F/M, Female Stiles Stilinski, Hurt Stiles, Sad Derek, Sad Stiles, Suicide, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-01-25 17:38:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1656806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RougueShadowWolf/pseuds/RougueShadowWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She would not allow herself to destroy lives just because she had been stupid. And so she took the blade and cut into her flesh without much thought and a little bit of guilt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this just that I was told to write a Jackson/Stiles thing and to use or mention Lydia at some point, there was also supposed to be knotting and first-time, the words such as virgin and cunt, dick as well as bathtub were to be used. And this is what I came up with. My friends are looking at me like I’m mentally unhinged.

 

Stiles felt like crying because she was such a sad excuse for a human being, she was such a stupid person to ever think anyone would actually lover her to want her for more than just a friend, she had been so reckless and stupid with her heart that she wanted nothing more than to have it removed from her chest. Stiles had been so stupid and now she would bring shame on her father, she speeded home the words of the her doctor ringing in her ears and she was slowly starting to realize how she hadn’t just ruined her own life by thinking that there was something more between her and Jackson Whittemore; they had gone to a few movies and dinner dates, because he’d obviously tried to make Lydia jealous and Stiles had tried to make him see how she could be so much better than Lydia, and for a moment she had thought she had managed to catch Jackson’s heart. 

 

Stiles sobbed loudly as she finally parked her car outside her house, and the mistake she made felt so much more real now than it had half an hour ago, as she drifted into the house where she had been raised, a house her father struggled to keep seeing the house made her realized how her mistake would be a great burden on their already strained financial state. 

 

Stiles entered the house sobbing loudly, body shaking with grief and humiliation, catching sight of the couch on which the mistake had been conceived Stiles felt like she was about to be sick. 

 

_ Four weeks of little dates and soft kisses and there they were, Stiles straddling Jackson while the two of them were kissing his hands moving over her body like he couldn’t get enough of her by just kissing. Their kisses grew more desperate, hungrier, demanding. Stiles was barely aware of her surroundings as she allowed Jackson to dominate their kisses as he clearly knew what to do with those delicious lips and that tongue that sneaked into her mouth and instead of making her queasy or sick it made her heart race and her body shiver with want. He kissed her neck while Stiles tried to figure out how someone like Jackson Whittmore, the person whom she had wanted for years and years, was there holding her and kissing her like she was something beautiful and desirable.  _

 

_ When he removed her shirt, she felt nervous because she wasn’t much to look at with her flat little body that made her look like a ten year old boy instead of the girl of sixteen she was, but before she could do anything to cover up her shameful body her bra was removed and Jackson trailed kisses down her neck and shoulder and all the way down to her pink nipple; he latched on with a unfamiliar hunger and it made her moan and jolt, the movement of her hips made her feel the erection Jackson was sporting against her ass and it was such a strange feeling that she moved cautiously against the hardness once more which made Jackson gasp out against the sensitive nub that had been lavished with Jackson attention.  _

 

_ `I want you,´ Jackson moaned as Stiles moved again against the bulge underneath her and she was as excited as Jackson was because she was the reason he was so hard underneath her, and so she just gave a nod while desperately removing the fabrics that kept the sculptured body of her boyfriend hidden from her while pulling off the fine shirt, she rose enough for Jackson to rip the laced fabric between her quivering thighs the sound was enough to tell her Jackson was as eager as she was, the sound of him unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans had her for but a moment thinking that may she shouldn’t do what she was about to do not until they were public about their relationship because that had been the only piece of wisdom Allison had given her after she'd asked the huntress about when it was okay to move on from first-base to second and so on, but the moment Jackson forced her back on his lap leaving only the little skirt she’d been wearing  the thought vanished from her with a loud moan as Jackson started sucking at her other breast while humping her desperately which made her feel so very strange inside.  _

 

_ Stiles could feel the member against her and it felt big, huge, and it made her feel nervous but before she could voice her apprehension Stiles felt something penetrate her, it was new and it moved causing her to gasp and she latched on to Jackson shoulders and he went back to kissing her as he caressed her folds and touching her clit and teased the bundle of nerves that made Stiles breathless and caused her to feel incredibly strange; she felt like she wanted to pee but she knew that need was not real, and she could feel a secretion start to soak her pussy and Jackson used it to spread the wetness over her now sensitive folds and it made her moan and move her hips just a little bit which had Jackson smirk into her mouth.By the time the fingers vanished she was panting and wanting something more than just the fingers Jackson had used to drive her into a moaning mess, without a warning she felt something much larger than fingers enter her, she gasped out loud while Jackson impaled her and the pain was nothing like Stiles had felt before it felt like Jackson had suddenly stabbed her cunt and she wanted to get off of him but the fear of more pain held her there and unmoving.  _

 

_ `Fuck you’re tight baby.´ Jackson whispered in her ear, there was a pause no longer than a second before he moved her just a little bit up which seemed to lessen her pain somewhat, and she almost thanked him but then he pushed her down again forcing the full length into her again and this time she did scream. He continued, repeating the moves over and over again while telling her how beautiful she was and how good she was to him, the words were even more addictive than the sensation of being penetrated over and over again because he made her feel sexy and wanted and no one had ever made her feel like that before. _

 

_ Soon Stiles was gasping and moaning and saying Jackson’s name like he was the only God she believed in, and Jackson kept fucking into her like he was trying to set some world record, and the more she moaned the faster and harder he pounded up into her and the tighter he held her forcing her to take what he was willing to give her, and she didn’t mind it at all because it felt so good. She didn’t protest, or ask him to stop instead she moaned for more.  _

 

_ Sure, Stiles had envisioned her first time to be something more gentler and more romantic like Lydia had described her first time with Jackson, but instead Stiles got something more animalistic,her virginity was being removed from her body hard and fast and slightly painful. The only part of her fantasies about her first time that was real and true was Jackson who’s features were less than human now it was enough to make her constrict around the big cock and she could feel the whole damn thing now; the size and shape, the thickness and the wetness and hotness, and she felt herself growing more turned on by the idea that he was truly and undeniably inside her and she felt loved and the sound they made was enough to make her feel incredibly filthy and hot at the same time. And soon she moved the movement of her hips made Jackson moan even louder and she could tell he appreciated the motion she was creating even if it hurt her, but it was a deliciously sort of pain, the thick member went deeper into her body. The pleasure was driving her mad, it made her crave more.  _

 

_ She kept moving up and down, enjoying everything even the words Jackson spilled from time to time, `Such a fucking slut for my dick,´ made her cry out, `Yes, yes, please Jackson,´ it didn’t matter if he called her a filthy slut or a whore because she knew she was all those things for him and only him.  _

 

_ The sensation of being almost there, whatever there was, kept growing while she did everything possible to figure out how to get to the place that would ease the constricting sensation in her stomach, but then she began to feel something else she paused her movements to get her baring’s back and realized that the dick that continued to fuck into her was growing.  _

 

_ `J-Jackson….? ´  _

 

_ The dick inside her became bigger and bigger, so much so that it hurt and she screamed out in pain and tried to push herself away from Jackson, but he simply held her tighter and growled at her while the base of his penis became far too big her to push out and escape from, and she started crying as the growth continued on to grow it stopped growing when Jackson was coming. Hot spurts forced their way into her body, into her abused hole and she cried hard the orgasm she had hoped for was lost with the pain and all she could do was cry against Jackson shoulder. Jackson continued to rut against her, moving inside her with an almost desperation, chasing his pleasure again and again while still being stuck in her. Stiles felt no sexier than a used sock, because she was sobbing against her boyfriend’s shoulder which she was sure Lydia had never done.Stiles closed her eyes and tried to calm down while allowing Jackson to use her and she told herself it was alright because Jackson was her boyfriend and he loved her and that they could probably talk about this so that next time Stiles could actually have an orgasm but her thoughts shattered the moment Jackson came inside her for the third time while she begged him to stop moving because she was hurting, the spurt was hot and unforgiving, he called out a name that wasn’t hers with such pleasure and want that it stunned Stiles for a moment. And as he continued to fuck into her as best he could he groaned and moaned out, `Fuck Lydia, so good, so perfect. I love you Lyds, I fucking love you.´ _

 

_ Stiles didn’t care if it hurt her or him, she tried to get away which caused Jackson to open his eyes and he visibly paled, he looked guilt and afraid while Stiles could only cry with shame and pain, the name her boyfriend had called out in pleasure rooted into her brain. She closed her eyes because she couldn’t look at him, and she moved as far away from his body as she could. She forced his hands off of her, and when he tried to speak again she covered his mouth with her trembling hand and shook her head while she waited until she could feel the big thing, a knot her mind told her, that had corked her cunt reduced just enough for her to remove herself from Jackson. The moment she was free which wasn’t all pain free because of her need to get away as fast as possible, she could feel Jackson release flow there was a disgusting fountain that was created by her abused folds. Stiles batted away Jackson hands as he attempted to help her because she was so unsteady on her feet, she felt too disgusted with him and herself to take any help from him.  _

 

_ `Stiles.´ Jackson voice was full of guilt, but she cuthim off by telling him to leave which he did rather quickly leaving Stiles to make her way upstairs to her bedroom, where she had thrown herself on her bed and cried her heart out unaware of the disaster slowly taking form within her teenage body. She sobbed out even more when she felt the pool she was creating between her legs, ruining her sheet.  _

 

Stiles was too far gone now, an abortion was out of the question now, she’d never been regular with her monthly cycles hell she was lucky if she had a period every other month so the fact that she hadn’t suffered from anything but what she had thought to a strange case of a stomach bug she hadn’t thought anything to be wrong. So for months she had been sick like a dog, watching Jackson avoiding her and trying to get back into Lydia’s good graces. Scott was too caught up with Allison and Isaac to notice anything wrong with her, and it had been Derek who had told her to go and see a doctor; Derek Hale had been the only one who had shown any concern about her frequent offerings to the toilet Gods. Her dad had been less eager to come home of late, mostly because of all the trouble she had caused in the past; troubles that might cause her dad to lose his job. 

 

Stiles had screwed up unforgivably. She’d destroyed any chance she had of ever leaving Beacon Hills or going to college. She’d shamed her family and destroyed all her dreams in one go just because she had been stupid enough to think someone could love her hyperactive ass. 

 

She walked into the bathroom, because she knew what she had to do. She wouldn’t continue to ruin her father’s life, Stiles had to make things better for her dad and if it meant she had to end not one but two lives with one swift cut of the blade she had hid underneath the bathroom sink years ago when she found herself unable to handle the stress of a motherless girl without a few neat cuts across her thighs. She placed the pretty little blade on the edge of the bathtub while preparing a bath for herself, she wanted to feel comfortable and make it easy for whoever it was that would clean up after her. She used the rose petal bath milk Melissa McCall had bought her years ago. As she waited for the bathwater to become perfect for her to rest in, she thought for a moment that she should leave a note or something for her dad but then she decided to send a message to him instead. 

 

** Don’t forget to eat dad. Stop working so hard. Love you.  **

 

It was stupid and rather a pointless message but at least she told him she loved him, for the past week she hadn’t had a chance to do so. But after she sent a message to her father she felt she should do the same to Scott and then to Derek and before she knew it the bath was ready and several messages had been sent and none of them had been replied too. 

 

** Scott, I know you love Allison but could you please just remember to study at least a little… for me. Love you dude always.  **

 

Stiles placed her phone on the counter and thought about the message she had sent Derek. 

 

** I can’t come to the pack meeting today. Don’t be so hard on the Betas. You’re not all that bad for an Alpha Derek.  **

 

As she started undressing she thought about the message she sent Lydia.

 

** Stop being a bitch Lydia. Stop being so goddamn mean to everyone. You are already a goddess so be happy, be nice because not every one of us can be as perfect as you.  **

 

As looked down at the small bump she had been ignoring for a while now, she regretted sending Jackson a message that she suspected he would delete before even reading it. 

 

** I love you Jackass. Always have and always will. Stop being a dick.  **

 

`It’s for the best. ´ she told herself and the baby as she slipped into the water, determined to end her suffering and shame, she played around with the blade for a while before pressing the sharp blade against the pale skin of her wrist, pulling a long vertical line up her arm it hurt more than she had imagined it would and unwilling to cause more pain to herself she dropped the blade to the bottom of the tub and just allowed herself rest in the warm water, she did not notice how an unfamiliar coldness began to creep up on her nor the tingling sensation in her limbs, she barely registered how tiered she became or how her body slipped further and further in the water, before everything went dark around her Stiles mumbled out, `I'm sorry.´ 

 


	2. Did Derek save the day?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To awaken from a dream that felt so real, so true, so possible, so indescribably perfect, can truly be the most horrible experience you might be forced to endure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again my Dears and perhaps a few new souls dipping their toes into this little torture. To those who don’t yet know what 15 Minutes is all about here’s a short explanation, me and my friends when we make a bet there are different ways with which we pay off if one is not victorious, because I have no great talent pay by writing these short little stories that they tell me to write… the thing is I only have 15 minutes to write think and write a story. Now my friend who wishes to be called Raven asked me to write something for this story, she’s aware of the fact that people have wished for different sort of endings for this story and you may see this as one of them. Raven asked for something with Derek and dream and a funeral… and this is it. Here we go. Oh! Nearly forgot I’ve been thinking about the name Lalia (I have list of names actually) and it means to talk well so I just think it’s perfect for Derek and Stiles little girl. I’m sorry about the crappy kids I tried to make them cute because Raven asked for cuteness but I suck at making cuteness…. Oh and she asked for a bit of a cry-baby-Derek. This ended up being really confusing because the time just wasn’t on my side, sorry. 
> 
> I'll try and find the other endings once I get a chance to do so... but do please tell me if you are still interested in this story or not, because I won't bother posting them if everyone's already lost interest in the various endings I've been unable to choose from. 
> 
> And to EVERYONE who has left comments and KUDOS' THANK YOU it's made dealing with my friends comments so much easier.

`Papa!´ the loud shrill of a excited scream startled him awake from the dreamless sleep he’d slipped into only a few hours ago,he’d spent the night and the early hours of the morning finishing painting the nursery wanting to get it done before the weekend started. He was awake enough to catch his precious princess before the six year old wearing a rainbow colored frilly dress and a pink tiara crushed his family jewels.The little girl who had his dark hair and eyes while everything else from her energy to the skin tone and the shape of her adorable nose and lips were that of his mate, laughed loudly and shrieked joyfully when he threw her up in the air only to catch her again and planting kisses on her rosy cheeks.

 

`Oh My God Lalia,´ there was definitely an eye-roll there even if Derek couldn’t see his son, his first-born, Derek could tell there was an eye-roll being performed, `Mama told us to wake dad up _gently_.´ The words had his little princess chewing on her lower lip the same way her mother did, she was contemplating what had been said.

 

`Son, it’s fine,´ Derek hurried to say while getting off of the bed with his daughter cling on to him, perched on his hip in the familiar way that always made him wish his kids never grew-up, so he could keep carrying them around all the time until he was too old and weak to do so, but children grew and the evidence of that stood there in the doorway of his bedroom wearing a frown and looking so much like the werewolf that had been nothing more than a sperm donor to the boy who thankfully had his mother’s eyes and heart.

 

`Yeah Colt, all good.´ Lalia said sticking out her tongue at her big brother who gave her an ice-cold glare before grumbling, `The twins better be boys, I can’t handle another sister.´

 

Derek couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. He pulled his son into a hug and kissed the top of his head, and although the ten year old would swear he was too old for cuddles still rubbed his face against his chest the way he’d done the first time Derek had been allowed to hold the baby boy he’d adopted under his name before the child had reached the age of two. Sure, Derek didn’t share the same blood with his son and Colton knew it they never lied to him about it, but Derek was the only father the boy had and Derek would gladly kill Jackson if he ever wised-up and decided he wanted to be more than a stranger to Derek’s and Stiles son; after everything Jackson had said and done he had no place in their family or pack.

 

` What’s your mother up too?´ Derek asked while they headed downstairs, he could hear Stiles puttering around in the kitchen as well as Trinity singing some song she was making-up. There had been a time when Derek would never have been able to imagine having all of this, a house, a family and the love of a good woman.

 

The kitchen is a mess, which isn’t all that surprising considering that Stiles is eight months pregnant and she’s going through a nesting phase much like she had done with both Trinity and Laila. There are pots and pans as well as everything from within the cupboards on every smooth surface that wasn’t used by his uncle who was trying to make breakfast while avoiding getting struck in the head with any of the items Stiles is moving around or getting pinned between Stiles impressive belly and the stove.Seeing Peter in the kitchen these days is nothing new as his uncle was a large part of their family and the oldest Hale was always around to help Stiles with the kids and the chores, although now that she was pregnant he lived with them to make sure Stiles was never alone.

 

It had taken time before both Derek and Stiles had learned to trust Peter with their children, but Peter had never begrudged them for it and in the end all of them had what they needed, and so did the children; Colton was especially close to Peter who seemed to always have time for the boy and his questions, not that Peter was any less adoring towards the two daughters Derek and Stiles had created no Peter did spoil each child in his own way.

 

Peter smiled at Derek and gave a short nod; flipping a pancake in the air skillfully without even looking at it, Trinity who was seated in her highchair applauded excitedly she too had her mother’s heart and energy.

 

Stiles had yet to notice the arrival of Derek, and so placed his daughter in her own seat at the table leaving Colton to watch over his sisters for a moment so his father could showering his mother with the attention and love she deserved.

 

`Morning my Light.´ Derek says as he moves towards his mate who is wearing nothing but the baby creamy white dress that would not fit her in a week or two, he loved her like this barefooted wearing clothes that revealed the shape of the body that had already given him three beautiful children and would soon give him two more, he could barely keep his hands off of her these days.

 

Stiles turned around to face him but instead of the smile that usually lit her eyes up with the wonderful joy she held in her soul, she looked miserable and tearful and with arms long and thin spread out she wailed with such desperation, `I’m a whale Derek! A whale! ´

 

The sound of an almost done pancake hitting the floor told how Peter shared in Derek’s confusion and shock, Trinity stopped singing and Colton who had been helping Laila get her juice froze in his tracks, but Laila being the very talkative child she was said without hesitation, `A pretty whale mama.´ Colton literally face palms at that moment and groans, `Please God, don’t let them be girls.´

 

Stiles just stands there wide-eyed and tearful before she sobs out, `Even my own daughter thinks I’m massive.´ Derek tries not to laugh but he can’t help the tiny chuckle that escapes, this is his family and he loves all of them even with outbursts and crazy hormones.

 

`No need to laugh, ´ Stiles cries, `I know I look ridiculous. I can’t even see my feet. I haven’t seen them in months. I could have grown hooves and I wouldn’t know about it.´

 

 When Lalia starts comparing her mother to different whales, Colton throws his hand over her mouth which earns him a glare from his sister, and the clever boy hisses at her to be quiet or their mother might just decide to deny them desert and that shuts the girl up.

 

`You are incredibly beautiful.´ Derek murmurs as he moves towards his crying mate, she’d turned her back to him so he would not see the tears she was shedding, `You’ve always been beautiful to me even when you wore all those good awful layers of clothing.´ He sneaked his hands over to rest on the glorious structure that kept their children safe until the youngest members of their family were prepared to face the world, to face them and their family as well as a pack that were almost as eager over the twins as he and his mate were.

 

Derek pressed his body close to his mates, her back against his front, and once more he was reminded of how petit she was compared to him and how she was his to protect and love. His wolf always settled inside him, pleased with life, when their bodies were touching.

 

 He kissed the long slender neck of the woman that had saved him in more ways than one, then he softly whispered into her ear allowing a soft ruble to leave him ` And I find you incredibly sexy.´

 

`That’s because she’s the proof of your fertility.´ Peter announces which causes Colton to make gagging noises from where he’s seated at the table. Derek shoots a glareat his uncle over the shaking shoulder of his crying mate, Peter of course understands his mistake and quickly back peddles by saying, `But as the man who has n _ot_ impregnated you, Imust confess you are the most beautifulwoman Ihave ever come across and if you hadn’t chosen my nephew I would have gone after myself in a heartbeat – and I will if my nephew ever screws up and you decide to leave him.´

 

`You just keep your hands off of my mate Peter.´ Derek growls, at Peter pulling his mate closer breathing in her scent which always calms and grounds him. Peter raises both of his hands, and says with a small smirk, `No touching Stiles. Got it Alpha.´

 

`I _love_ you. _I_ love _you_.´ Derek says as he nuzzles the pale stretch of skin he hadn’t marked in days, `I love you more now than way back when you thought no one did. I love you more now than I did when I confessed my love to you the first time.´ Derek took his mates wrist and looked at the skin she’d mutilated in a moment of self-doubt and panic, he rubbed the little scar with his thumb trying to keep the memory of finding Stiles in a bloody bath nearly eleven years ago out of his mind, he’d been so sure he’d lost her when he’d pulled her limp body out of the water.

 

Suddenly he feels Stiles vanish from his arms, he sees his children do the same and then he hears his uncle calling out for him but he can’t see anything but the life he lived disappear before his very eyes. His heart began to race and his body trembled as he realizes it was all just a dream and he screams for his mate. Screams for her until he wakes-up only to find his uncle hugging him tightly and the way his uncle holds him reminds Derek of the way Laura had held him every time he woke-up screaming for their parents after the fire when it was only the two of them.

 

`If you want, ´ Peter says softly, rubbing Derek’s back gently, `you can stay here. I can take care of the flowers.´ Derek shook his head because he couldn’t believe it all to be real, `No one will judge you for not attending Stiles funeral, it’s not even certain her father will.´

 

`How could she do it? How could she? ´ Derek sobs against his uncles’ shoulder, and all Peter can say is, `Oh Derek. I honestly don’t know.´

 

His heart aches beyond belief, and he can’t breathe when Peter asks him if he’s going to Stiles funeral, he feels like the entire world is caving in on him. Derek needs to get away, he needs air. Derek pushes away from his uncle and falls to the floor rather ungracefully. And on the floor he screams and cries, clawing at the soft rug beneath him.

 

`Derek?´ hears the familiar voice of Stiles, it’s soft and confused, tiered even like she’d just been dragged out of a deep sleep; the way she’d been that night when he’d come to check-up on her after she’d kept him from drowning in the pool while Jackson was the Kanima.

 

Hearing Stiles’ sweet voice so loving and gentle was a sure sign that he was losing his sanity.

 

Derek knows he should have been brave enough to love from the moment she’d stumbled into his life. ****He should have gone with her to the doctor, he should have been there to tell Stiles he would take care of her, but he’d been too much of a coward and now he had nothing. Derek’s life was full of nothing but regrets.

 

Derek would never get to be a husband. He would never get to kiss and hold Stiles, to sleep with her and he would never be a father. Derek would never have soft kisses and gentle touches.

 

`Der? ´ the voice haunts him, and he cries harder, `What’s wrong?´  There are gentle hands on his back running up to his shoulders before there’s a heavy weight against his back and a familiar scent washes over him, but there’s also something new and delicious and comforting to the scent that surrounds him it makes Stiles death so much more agonizing. Because he could have had her, he is sure of it, if he’d only had the courage needed.

 

`What’s wrong?´ a small voice, one he thinks he recognizes from somewhere but isn’t sure, but that voice is almost as painful as breathing in Stiles scent and hearing her voice when she was gone, `Mama is papa dying?´

 

`Colt, baby, ´ the voice, her voice says all fearful and panicky, `get my phone baby.´

 

 Derek looks up, he sees a little boy that’s probably about four years old standing at the doorway wearing a pair of Batman PJs, lower lip trembling and it’s just enough to prove to Derek that he’s lost his mind. The Alpha breaks down and howls the sorrow and agony he feels deep within his body, it’s like a poison running through his veins and exploding inside his heart it’s a suffering he had never imagined he would experience again not after watching his family burn into ashes.

 

`Baby, get mama’s phone,´ Stiles says and it feels like she’s rubbing circles into his back, it feels as real as her voice sounds genuine, `Papa’s just having one of his fits.´

 

When Derek dares to open his eyes, eyes that land on the little boy still standing in the doorway appearing now more like a miniature werewolf than your average human child, there are tiny sharp white fangs and eyebrows gone while adorable human ears had now become pointy and little fingers had now sharp claws. Derek shakes his head and refuses to look at the little child, for the more he looks at the boy the more he feels the devastating love Derek knows he can never have.

 

 The child lets out a tiny version of a miserable howl one to answer the sorrowful one the broken Alpha had released, and then with hastened steps bolted towards Derek who was on his hands and knees cursing the world for its cruelty.

 

`I love her.´ he cries before the he feels something solid and yet soft hit him, `I would have done anything for her, for the baby.´ Derek swears he can feel tiny arms with supernatural strength wrap around his neck, he can swear he hears desperate whines in his ear, `I would have done anything for them. Anything.´

 

`And you did.´ Stiles voices say, loud and sure, and Derek can’t help to tilt his head towards the gentle touch of her hand that pets his cheek.  

 

 It feels so real. It smells so real. And he wants it to be real. But it can’t be, can it?

 

`Derek.´ Stiles voice says, and he dares a look at her and how cruel is his mind to conjure her kneeling right there before him, like a living breathing thing, `It’s real. It’s all real.´ she tells him but he shakes his head, because it can’t be, can it?

 

She snatches his clawed hand in hers. She lifts his hand up and rests the palm of his hand against her own and starts counting, gently pushing each of her fingers against his own while counting loudly. And Derek watches her, stares at her and not the hand.

 

 `Papa.´ the little wolf cries against his neck, tiny claws digging into his neck and shoulder

 

When there are five fingers counted for this glorious figment of his imagination grabs his other hand and continues counting, but not before she has the already done hand placed against the trembling back of the little boy who looked so much like the boy in Derek’s dream. And he squeezes the tiny body against his own, and the child feels so real and so right.

 

When all fingers, all ten of them are accounted for Derek makes a chocked out sound, he really looks at Stiles who’s on her knees right there in front of him telling him it’s all real. And by God she is beautiful, no longer the self-conscious teenager but a beautiful woman with messy bed-hair wearing a white tank-top and a pair of sweats that barely fit her now that there’s an impressive baby bump decorating her otherwise petit figure. Derek can’t stop gawking at the shape of her stomach it’s a shape of hope and future, and love. He stops gawking when tiny claws dig into his shoulders enough to draw blood and the little boy makes distressed sounds that resemble more that of animalistic than anything a human would create.

 

The pain it feels real, and so does Stiles gentle touch. Everything smells real, the blood he’s bleeding the tears he and the little boy in his arms are shedding. The room it’s resembles that of the one in his dream, maybe this is a dream, but in this one the room smells of him and Stiles of sleep and arousal, the room reeks of sex as does Stiles; she smells like he’d finally been allowed to release his seed inside her, mark her as his and only his.  

 

 Derek stares at Stiles, and she places his hand on her stomach and he feels something move beneath the fabric and skin.

 

 `You saved me Derek, you saved me from myself.´ Stiles tells him, she shows him the long scars the one he remembers seeing years ago bleeding when he’d found her, `You saved us Derek.´ she reached over to the little boy and pulls him into her lap. The little werewolf protests loudly but then calms right down when Stiles says, `Papa needs your help Colt, you need to show him your fingers baby.´

 

`Bad dream?´ the words are distorted by the sharp little teeth but Derek understand them perfectly and Stiles kisses the little boy on the top of his head as she turns the little boy to face Derek, `Yes, Papa just had a bad dream, so you need to help him.´

 

The little boy lifts both his hands and orders Derek to count, and Derek does, his heart full of fear because what if it was all just a dream and he’d wake-up to find Stiles dead and Peter trying to usher him to Stiles funeral.

 

`One?´ Derek whispers touching the little pinky, it feels so real, `Two?´ the little boy nods, the hairs on his face slowly vanishing as the boy calms down, `Three?´ the tiny claws were replaced with tiny human ones, `Four,´ Derek can’t help but marvel at the size of the little fingers, `Five.´

 

 `Five Papa.´ the little boy, Colton, says nodding very seriously before smiling at Derek with a bright smile that resembled Stiles’, and Derek feels his heart tremble with hope, maybe this was real.

 

Derek touches the thumb that was so small and adorable, and whispers out, `Six.´ Colton leans against his mother, and she rests her head on top of his and looks into Derek’s eyes and he dares to hope that this is all real, that there are only four more fingers to be counted and not five or twelve.

 

He’s there on his knees, one hand held tightly by the woman he loved while the other touched tiny fingers of a boy he found himself love as fiercely as he loved Stiles.

 

 `Seven.´ Derek breathes out, looking at the finger that as a little mole at the base, a tiny dark spot right there, just like his sister Laura. Derek turns his eyes over to finger number, `Eight.´

 

`Baby okay mama?´ Colton asks when Derek hesitates for a minute with finger number nine, they’re so close to the end of the fingers or the illusion or is it a hallucination or a dream, Derek can’t be sure. Derek glances up at Stiles who kisses the temple of her son, focused on the boy now more than Derek, `Yes honey, why? ´

 

`I’m not hurting baby? ´ Colton asked sounding genuinely worried, Stiles smiles lovingly down at the boy and Derek suddenly thinks he remembers a time when she hadn’t smiled at the child the way she did now, he thinks he remembers a time when he’d stayed close to Stiles and the baby just to make sure she didn’t hurt herself or the baby.

 

`Nope. The baby is fine. I think it likes having you close.´ she tells the little boy who smiles just a little bit wider before telling his mother how he will always be there for the baby, because he was its big brother and big brother’s had to take care of the little ones, those words earn him another kiss and Derek can tell Stiles is holding the child closer.

 

`Nine.´ Derek whispers because he needs to know, he needs to know if the joy he feels is real or not, and then clasps onto the last finger and sobs out, `Ten.´ he pulls his family immediately into his arms and cries joyously into the neck of his mate, `You _are_ all _real_. You are _all_ real.´

 

`You bet your incredibly hot rump we’re real.´ Stiles laughs while Colton squeaks that they are crushing him and the baby.

 


End file.
